Thank you for stopping by my blog.
If you have come here to hear my story and real life testimonies of God’s goodness in the midst of the impossible, or if you’ve come to be encouraged, seek peace for your heart, or perhaps you stumbled here by accident… I am happy you are here, and so honored to bless you in this humble way. This is my story and this is my life, even if in small pieces, but real and raw, nonetheless. It has been redeemed, surrendered to and written by the pen of His relentless love.
I am a mom, wife, worshiper and psalmist, inspirational speaker turned blogger.
But even if I had done nothing else in my life, I am always and forever a child of God and a passionate lover of Jesus!
I truly believe our destiny is shaped by not so much what we do, as it is by who we are in Him, and our friendship with Jesus.
My life so far has has been full of tough roads and amazing adventures. God called me to ministry since an early age. I grew up in Ukraine, always singing, running hard after God, being involved in church, outreach, music, art, and even tent revivals. My life was wonderfully shaped by my musical ministry family. And, though we were growing up in a tough place of persecution, my parents instilled so much joy, love and purpose in my and my siblings lives! Our road took an unexpected turn in a most wonderful way, when God has brought my family to America in 1999. Our ministry also exploded, as I traveled together with my siblings as a worship-acapella group all over the nation and even Europe, singing, speaking, leading people in the presence of God. So many stories I can tell! Later on, as I pursued a degree at Lee University, I met a handsome southern boy, who loves Jesus, and together we raised up a quiver of arrows (almost, they are still very young). I had a career at a Christian TV company, and I was involved at my local church with the discipleship ministry and with music. Once I added the title mom to my resume, things turned upside down, in both challenging and beautiful ways. In that season, of running on very little sleep and a lot of coffee, though my nurturing heart was stretched to the max, other parts of my identity were starving, and I found myself hungry for a fresh purpose, for wholeness. I needed to learn to live from the Source, Who is Christ, instead of running on empty.
Nothing could prepare me for the storm that was coming…
Nothing, however, could prepare me and my family for the storm that was coming… About four years ago, at a prime age of 35, with babies in my arms, I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer.
Our world came tumbling down, as we entered the “valley of the shadow of death”. After two years of scans, chemo, radiation, multiple surgeries, and many dark days, I finally had received a clean scan. The grace of God is so amazing! He has truly walked me through every part of that journey with His joy and His peace, and His song on my lips. He filled my heart with hope. Even when the going was tough, I knew His nearness. Finally, I thought, all the bad and ugly stuff was behind me…
Except it wasn’t! Within a year, the disease has reared its ugly head, and this time with vengeance. After months of unexplained fever and pain in my bones, more tests were done. I heard a sentence for my life as the doctor advised that cancer metastasized into the bones, spine, and ribs. He kindly gave me five years to live. I heard a lot of good advice to get my affairs in order, and do what medically can be done to keep the disease somewhat controlled, to buy some time with my family and my kids. In those dark days, when the agonizing burning pain in my bones was unbearable, laying in bed, I began to encourage myself in the Lord. When I couldn’t read, I played worship music or listened to healing testimonies and preaching. And when I could, I turned my heart to His word and what He had to say. This was a fight for my life, and I wanted to know what He says about it. I was not giving up this time, until I truly found the TRUTH of what God says.
In those moment I began to see Isaiah 53:5 in a whole new way. Now it was personal to me!
“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement of our peace fell upon Him, and BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED.” –Isaiah 53:5
I have learned that when Jesus healed the sick, He healed them all, but not always healing each person the same way. I have learned so many unique and amazing stories of how the Lamb of God, who took away the sin of the world, also restored them and made them free and whole. I have learned that His desire was not to hurt me or put a sickness on me “to teach me a lesson”, but that unlike the enemy who wants to steal and kill, Jesus came and died to give me LIFE and give it in abundant measure! That though in this life we face trials, He is always able to turn them around for our good.
I have learned that He is a good, good Father and every GOOD gift comes from above.
I have learned that my faith pleases Him and leads me to wholeness by His Word and His Spirit in every area, including mind, soul and emotions.
I was reminded that “In the beginning there was the WORD”, and I had to get a tight hold of that Word and make it my confession day and night.
I have learned that even though the scan results kept getting worse that year, when my liver was nearly shutting down, and the doctor was ready to send me home, that He was the wrap-around presence that was surrounding me!
I have learned that in times of disappointment He was close to my heart, because He is near to the brokenhearted.
I have learned to TELL my mind and soul what to believe, and that I had to choose to AGREE with His word and His will, and not with the medical report, but I could not agree with both.
The Lord taught me that I had to CHOOSE LIFE.
He taught me that there is wonder-working power in His blood!
He taught me that even though it took a while for the medical reports to catch up to my FAITH, they eventually did, but it was my FAITH that was the evidence, regardless of what I see or feel.
He taught me that even if I did everything right, but failed to pursue Him with all my heart, I may have missed the greatest joy and the aim of my life, that is TO KNOW HIM!
I thank you for being able to read this far. My hope is this same truth of God becomes real and resident on your life.
“For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord. Plans of good and not of evil, to give you FUTURE and HOPE.” -Jeremiah 29:11
My hope is that you will get a tight hold of Him and say what He says, believe in Him for Who He is, and see your destiny and your worth as He see it, in your own life.
And to my friends and prayer warriors who called out to God on my behalf all this time,
In His Love,