When I am Surrounded - Irina's Healing Journey
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When I am Surrounded

In the past few weeks we have seen one miracle after another, as my liver markers now keep supernaturally improving week by week. Even in the midst of having to deal with chemotherapy, and all the not so pleasant side effects that go along with it, we see hope and we continue to praise Him. Being able to lead worship in church recently with some incredible people, with my own now-recovered voice, was also a nice highlight. My friend Jenn, who led the congregation one night, picked my favorite song, called “Surrounded”, penned by Elyssa Smith. I call it “my song”, because of how the Lord used it to give me victory all throughout the past six months. It is hard to imagine that not so long ago, in the month of December, I was thrown into a muddy pit of despair. At the time, I was full of expectation to see even slightest improvement on my scans, yet the results were disappointing at best. It was the week of Christmas, and things weren’t getting better. They turned worse, and quickly. The doctor spoke in a firm voice, clearly having a hard time bringing the news. At the time, not only bones, but liver was getting worse, the “C” was spreading too much too fast. It spread into my head as well, so radiation to the head was upon me. I only remember calling Jesus’ name under my breath, as I lay on the radiation table, with a tight mask glued to my face and screwed to the table… In those moments I took comfort in that He is near to the brokenhearted. I remember at the doctor’s office, the Holy Spirit giving me clarity to follow her plan, to buy time, while continuing to press on for His miracle: “Whatever she tells you to do, do it”. Although our humanness gets shaken at the core, yet somehow we get to feel His nearness, His still small voice. To be very, very honest, I can hardly remember those weeks, months even. It all became a blur. It felt like no amount of mental fortitude or sheer will could move these circumstances. I had to have a victory not of this world; and only Jesus could help me. As I went back to the healing Scriptures in my memory, slowly they started coming alive again. His Word did not change, neither did it’s power to accomplish what it was spoken for. His Word did not change, neither did it’s power to accomplish what it was spoken for. That December morning, a week after scan results, I was finally awakened with clarity and determination. I woke up again with “MY song”, and ready to keep moving forward. I told my husband that I wanted to get all bundled up and walk to the mailbox (it was a 0 degree winter wonderland out there, and the cold crisp air probably would do me good anyway). I was also determined to walk to the mailbox and speak the healing Scriptures as I walked. This would be my prayer walk. If you ever heard the healing testimony of Doddy Osteen, that is what she did. She too was sent home with no hope and cancer in the liver, and with prayer and Word of God, she took a walk to the mailbox every day. That morning I was going to do as Doddy did. It was time to rise up and walk. I forced myself out of bed, got ready and went out the door, breathing in the crisp, still, chilly air. Snow was especially beautiful on the ground, untouched, pure, and just so serene. I walked along our windows to wave at my little boy, at which point he decided to turn this into a game of peeking through every window waving at me. This went on for a few good minutes, and I still have not started walking to the mailbox. As I turned to make my way, a glorious site unfolded before my eyes… At first faintly, but then more and more intense, the air began to sparkle and shimmer with this golden shimmer. I had to rub my eyes at first… “Am I really seeing this? Is this my blood sugar and I am seeing spots? Is this a vision?” As I stood there, this golden shimmer intensified ever more, and now I was surrounded with this golden cloud of “angel dust”, and also was our house. In that moment, the joy of the Lord filled my heart. Such joy, I could not describe it! Standing there, in awe and wonder, surrounded with this glorious shimmering light, I have now been literally “surrounded”. “It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by You…” the song was playing in my head. “See, I AM all around you”, I heard His gentle whisper, as I stood there completely in awe. Right there, right then, in that very moment, my God lifted me out of discouragement, to show He has got me and He is for me. “God’s glory is all around me! His wrap-around presence is all I need, for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength” (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭62:7‬). Remember the story, when prophet Elisha was surrounded by the enemy armies? His servant was afraid, to what Elisha said, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them” (2 Kings 6:15-17). As the old prophet prayed over the servant, God opened the servant’s eyes, and suddenly he began to see with a new perspective. Now he was seeing what God was seeing. He saw heavenly armies, the chariots of fire, surrounding them on every side, so much more numerous than the enemy. “God’s glory is all around me! His wrap-around presence is all I need, for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength” (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭62:7‬). I don’t know if this sounds crazy. It probably does. I have heard a few theories since that day, of what such gold dust wonder is, and how it happens. It did not match the description of what we saw that morning. And quite frankly, it does not matter… There may always be a way to dismiss the wonder of our supernatural God. Yet He is the same God, Who led His people in the desert with the cloud by day and the fire by night, who parted the sea, and gave heavenly manna every morning. To them, it was about THEIR God abiding in their midst and showing all throughout, “I AM with you.” For us, it became a time of joy and time of lifting our head to look upon Him, Who surrounds us and leads us out. Nothing could be more powerful, than God Himself fighting for us. Perhaps you find yourself overwhelmed, surrounded, pressed on every side, like I was. Your circumstances or your pain do not define your destiny. God does, and He is for you. Whether or not you see Him in the midst of your situation, whether or not you see clouds of glory or the mighty heavenly armies, or see or feel nothing at all, you can rest in the truth of His nature, that His presence is all around you and He is closer than your own breath. ~ Irina

 

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